Monday, October 15, 2007

Re: Battle for Anchorage

(a contribution)
Re: Battle for Anchorage
From: Dr. Кйохдюгдъоцгдкядъ
Subject: I think crab will win

Yes, I am writing about man who want to fight crab. In my home town of Magadan we also have same crab. Very big, very mean. I am biologist who study crab. After fall of Soviet Union where my job was scientist who study bomb shell and hiding in hole in ground, the switch to crab research was only small step.

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I myself have done study on over 100 crab over 15 yorshk in length. This kind Alaska crab very fast, very sharp. One time I see this same style of crab pinch into two half a foolish boy who walk in sea with fish line with chicken piece tied to end. Crab move same fast in water as on sand, it can not be stopped with such ease. To tie up ones own arms is to give crab the victory! Why, I can not understand, why you do think like this? You will not win beach, you will just die by claw of crab! When we must kill crab, and I don’t do it often because I love crab, but when we must we use special secret Soviet tool we discover during cold war. In Russian we call it “молоток”, but I think in English it called “hammer”. It’s like heavy thing with stick on it. Kills crap pretty well. So unless you take with you молоток I am sure you will lose. And your nice girlfriend will probably must belong to crab then. This is your tradition, no? I saw it in Hollywood movie somewhere, maybe with Fay Wray but I don’t know. But all this with the tie and the flipper and the knee, it’s just, I can’t even say. I know you American never listen so but I don’t care I tell you. When you getting pinch and killed by crap please send me photo because such a thing would make my day. Thank you for reading and good look in fight to death; probably your death.

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