Pinnipeds have it rough

If I'm reincarnated, seal or sea lion is just about at the bottom of my list. Whenever you're worried about sharks, what's the advice you always get? Just don't look like a seal. Well damn, what if I am a seal? They've certainly gotten a raw deal as big, floating bags of meat, and you know something's wrong when your chief predator is just screwing around with you for fun.