Friday, July 25, 2008

The inevitable rise of monkey robot armies

I'm gone! This post comes to you from my substitute Battlezookeeper.

So, let's start with the understanding that although the experiment shown in the video below may be for some good cause, such as helping people who have lost limbs, it could have world-changing consequences if the robot-armed monkeys escape. Incidentally, this blatantly non-trustworthy news site claims that the first thing the monkeys did when they acquired the robot-arms was fling poo. Naturally.

That video wasn't very scary, right? Vaguely worrying? Well, this one is both. Not only is it being developed by Boston Dyanamics for military use (great idea), it is utterly terrifying and makes a high-pitches whining noise while chasing you through the woods. And such.

I would say that the scientists involved in everything above have not seen or digested the lesson of scientific hubris of Jurassic Park. Now is it far-fetched to consider that the robot-arm wielding monkeys, though possibly cute, could acquire Big Dog robotic mounts and wage war upon us? I think not. Imagine this as their reconnaissance scouts:

Definitely not funny anymore. And they've clearly been practicing for years, waiting for us to perfect the technology necessary and randomly equip them with it. It will be a terrible battle and I totally warned you about it. My friend Claire from work helped me create an image of what the future could be:

Also, the robot-monkey-big-dog appears to be fighting multiple Fidel Castros. Awesome.

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