Monday, June 30, 2008

Rest in Peace, Ayveq the Masturbating Walrus

I've never been to the New York Aquarium, but until recently one of their main attractions was a 2700 pound walrus named Ayveq ("walrus" in Yupik). Unfortunately, he died a week ago, succumbing to a massive, untreatable bacterial infection. Says the NY Aquarium's obit:

Ayveq will be remembered for his raffish ways and unusual skills such as whistling on cue, drinking down whole fish through a straw, and charming many generations of Aquarium visitors at the Sea Cliffs windows.
How sad! Who wouldn't miss a raffish walrus who can whistle on cue and suck fish through a straw?

Actually, it turns out that he's going to be remembered mostly for whacking off.
Ayveq, the walrus whose bizarre, though oddly compelling, masturbation rituals made him an international sensation at the New York Aquarium, has died. He was 14.
QUICKLY, TO YOUTUBE!



You know, I think I would call that oddly compelling. So compelling, in fact, that I had to look up walrus masturbation. Most of it was porn (no, really), but this video is shot from a much better angle and the walrus actually moans throughout it. Disclaimer: I'm not sure if this is Ayveq and the narrator is incredibly irritating, but it's worth watching. Err, it's something, anyway.

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