Drunk Elephants

I'm sure most everyone has heard about animals - specifically elephants - eating fermented fruit and getting drunk (If you haven't, the video's at the bottom of this post). But what about when they're actually drinking human booze? Bad, bad shit goes down, that's what.

Drunk elephant rampage ends in death

Six Asiatic wild elephants were electrocuted as they went berserk after drinking rice beer in India’s remote northeast, a wildlife official said today.

The 40-strong herd uprooted an electric pole while looking desperately for food on Friday in Chandan Nukat, a village nearly 240km west of Shillong, the capital of Meghalaya state, said Sunil Kumar, a state wildlife official.

It happened back in 2004, too:

Drunken elephants die in accident

A herd of about 20 to 25 elephants went on the rampage in a remote area in the West Garo Hills district earlier this week after getting high on the beer.

As panicky villagers fled for cover, leaving behind their freshly brewed beverage, the elephants drank to their heart's content.

The inebriated elephants then struck an electric pole and brought it down.

And 1991:

A herd of thirsty elephants have broken through Indian army defences to steal the soldiers winter rum rations. The animals regularly break into an army supply depot in the jungle area of Bagdogra, in Northern Bengal, to get to the stores of food and spirit. Soldiers have tried to keep them at bay by lighting fires around the base and putting up electrified fences. But the crafty creatures have learned to hose out the flames with water stored in their trunks, and to flatten the fences by dropping uprooted trees on them. Once inside the depot, the huge raiders have no problem smashing down thin steel railings and wooden windows to get to the rum, sugar, flour and bananas inside, said an army spokesman. An officer recently posted there explained that the elephants broke the rum bottles by cleverly curling their trunks around the bottom. Then they empty the contents down their throats. They soon got drunk, he said, and swayed around. They enjoy themselves and then return to the jungle. But woe betide any soldier on duty who confronts one of the partying pachyderms, said the officer. One elephant never forgot the man who poured hot water on him one night - and has returned regularly to demolish his hut.
- Daily Telegraph 14/12/91

Then again, at least one person is skeptical about the whole thing. His point about the marula fruits is probably valid, but I'm not convinced that it's impossible for an elephant to drink enough. Honestly, I want to believe. Anyway, here's that video:



If I ever open a bar, I'm calling it "Marula".

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Asiatic Lions vs. Electric Fence

5 rare Asiatic lions electrocuted

AHMADABAD, India - Five rare Asiatic lions were found electrocuted Friday on the edge of western India's Gir National Park, a wildlife warden said.

They were killed by an electrified fence, allegedly put up illegally by a farmer to protect crops near the sanctuary, said Gujarat state's chief wildlife warden, Pradeep Khanna.

Here's an unwieldy video that's too ugly to embed.

I suppose numbers two through five didn't get the hint. Most interesting thing? There are only about 350 asiatic lions left in the wild. Yes, yes - 1.4% of all the asiatic lions were killed by the same electric fence. It seems like you wouldn't need a fence powerful enough to reliably kill full grown lions just to keep them out.

Also:

The Wildlife Protection Society of India says their bones are all highly prized in traditional Chinese medicine, as are their claws

Surprise.

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Cow vs... Tree?

'Cow-eating' trees of Padrame

Residents of Padrame near Kokkoda in Uppinangady forest range sighted one such carnivorous tree trying to dine on a cow last Thursday. According to reports, the cow owned by Anand Gowda had been left to graze in the forests.

The cow was suddenly grabbed by the branches and pulled from the ground. The terrified cowherd ran to the village, and got Gowda and a band of villagers to the carnivorous tree.

I once read about the man-eating trees of Madagascar in a big, fantastic book called The Unexplained (which, incidentally, introduced me to the concept of the chupacabras), but I suppose it makes just as must sense for there to be one in India. According to the Wikipedia entry on carnivorous trees (you know there's gotta be one), they've been spotted in Central and South America too. The article also includes what appears to be the only legitimate picture of one on the internet.

As is standard with these sorts of things, there are no photos, official investigations or anyone expressing any interesting in figuring out what the fuck happened.

However no detailed inquiry was made as the authorities were not asked for any report, Rao said.

Typical.

More from Cryptomundo

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Monkey vs. Delhi Deputy Mayor, Mayor frickin' dies

Monkey attack kills Delhi leader

The deputy mayor of the Indian capital Delhi has died a day after being attacked by a horde of wild monkeys.

SS Bajwa suffered serious head injuries when he fell from the first-floor terrace of his home on Saturday morning trying to fight off the monkeys.

My god. I'm imagining SS Bajwa leaning over his balcony on a steamy Delhi morning, perhaps leisurely sipping coffee while smoking his day's first cigarette, and suddenly being assaulted by angry rhesus macaques. As one leaps for his head and digs its claw into his eye socket, Bajwa tosses his arms into the air and lets out a deafening Wilhelm scream. Several others swing from the balcony and plow into his torso, sending him flying over the banister into the tropical air. The mass of blood, flailing bureaucrat and enraged simian carves a graceful arc through the air before hitting the ground with a dull thud - the monkeys walk away unconcerned as the public servant lies lifeless on the ground. Sirens in the distance. This was not a random assault. This was a hit.

But don't worry! Delhi is working hard to ensure that this doesn't happen again:

Solution elusive

One approach has been to train bands of larger, more ferocious langur monkeys to go after the smaller groups of Rhesus macaques.

Wait, what? How the fuck is that a good idea? Didn't they learn from, oh, I don't know, the brown snake or the cane toad? Yeah, imagine cane toads, but they'll kill you instead of your dumb dog.

Maybe they need to employ these guys:

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