BBC's Wildlife Photographer of the Year

Wildlife Photographer of the Year

I always wanted to be a wildlife photographer, roaming the exotic wilderness and searching for rare and unheard of creatures. Then I watched the segments after the credits on Planet Earth, in which the very same wildlife photographers freeze their asses off in the Gobi and sit in wet, disgusting jungles for weeks on end (specifically, I'm talking about the bactrian camel hunt and the one at the end of the birds of paradise episode, which I can't find online). This article further confirms my reservations: "Ten long months spent stalking the rare and elusive snow leopard in temperatures as low as -40ºC paid off for a dogged photographer."

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The Hyena and Other Men

The Hyena and Other men



Pieter Hugo is a South African photographer. Last year, he published some photos of Nigera's 'Hyena Men'.

In Abuja we found them living on the periphery of the city in a shantytown - a group of men, a little girl, three hyenas, four monkeys and a few rock pythons. It turned out that they were a group of itinerant minstrels, performers who used the animals to entertain crowds and sell traditional medicines. The animal handlers were all related to each other and were practising a tradition passed down from generation to generation. I spent eight days travelling with them.

The internet is woefully lacking in information about all this, but the photographer has a write-up here. This is particularly poignant:

Many animal-rights groups also contacted me, wanting to intervene (however, the keepers have permits from the Nigerian government). When I asked Nigerians, "How do you feel about the way they treat animals", the question confused people. Their responses always involved issues of economic survival. Seldom did anyone express strong concern for the well-being of the creatures. Europeans invariably only ask about the welfare of the animals but this question misses the point. Instead, perhaps, we could ask why these performers need to catch wild animals to make a living. Or why they are economically marginalised. Or why Nigeria, the world's sixth largest exporter of oil, is in such a state of disarray.

Hyena fact time! "The female Spotted Hyena's urogenital system is unique among mammals; the female's clitoris is elongated to form a fully erectile phallus, and the vaginal opening is at the tip of this phallus. [...] The female urinates, mates and gives birth through this pseudo-penis."

Wikipedia of course also has an entry for pseudo-penis:"A pseudo-penis is a term used of any structure found on an animal that while superficially appearing to be a penis, is derived from a different developmental path." I know some people I could put into that category.

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Monkey vs. Delhi Deputy Mayor, Mayor frickin' dies

Monkey attack kills Delhi leader

The deputy mayor of the Indian capital Delhi has died a day after being attacked by a horde of wild monkeys.

SS Bajwa suffered serious head injuries when he fell from the first-floor terrace of his home on Saturday morning trying to fight off the monkeys.

My god. I'm imagining SS Bajwa leaning over his balcony on a steamy Delhi morning, perhaps leisurely sipping coffee while smoking his day's first cigarette, and suddenly being assaulted by angry rhesus macaques. As one leaps for his head and digs its claw into his eye socket, Bajwa tosses his arms into the air and lets out a deafening Wilhelm scream. Several others swing from the balcony and plow into his torso, sending him flying over the banister into the tropical air. The mass of blood, flailing bureaucrat and enraged simian carves a graceful arc through the air before hitting the ground with a dull thud - the monkeys walk away unconcerned as the public servant lies lifeless on the ground. Sirens in the distance. This was not a random assault. This was a hit.

But don't worry! Delhi is working hard to ensure that this doesn't happen again:

Solution elusive

One approach has been to train bands of larger, more ferocious langur monkeys to go after the smaller groups of Rhesus macaques.

Wait, what? How the fuck is that a good idea? Didn't they learn from, oh, I don't know, the brown snake or the cane toad? Yeah, imagine cane toads, but they'll kill you instead of your dumb dog.

Maybe they need to employ these guys:

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