ANIMALS ON DRUGS

Animals on drugs: 11 unlikely highs from New Scientist. Watch out! Pretty soon they'll be taking PCP and bike off people's faces like Big Lurch, the small-time rapper who smoked a bunch and ate his girlfriend.

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HYENA BITES OFF WARTHOG'S LEG

If you think watching this hyena fuck up a warthog is bad, keep in mind that hyenas regularly eat human children. Don't go to Africa.

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PRAYING MANTIS DESTROYS HUMMINGBIRD

Coming off the heels of the previous post about an octopus eating a seagull, here's a mantis taking on a hummingbird. Fun fact: in the jungles of Brazil, there's a species of mantis that grows up to four feet tall. There are no recorded instances of it having killed a human, but you have to wonder.

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OCTOPUS EATS SEAGULL

Octopuses are scary enough as it is, but there's something fundamentally wrong with them eating birds. Remember that next time you step into the ocean - you can't even fly.

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MOST WTF ANIMAL PICS OF THE YEAR

50 Most WTF Animal Pics Of The Year
While not all of these pictures are, strictly speaking, of animals fighting, they still serve to remind us what a terrifying, dangerous world we live in. You are surrounded by animals, and they are all ready for battle.

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MAN ATTACKED BY DEVIOUS SHARK

Deceived by the size of this vicious creature, this fool lets his guard down. After the camera stopped rolling, the shark mounted him and forced the man to mate.

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TEENAGERS REACT TO HONEYBADGER NOT GIVING A SHIT

By now you would think everyone knows that honey badgers don't give a shit, but apparently these teens were not informed. Watch their reactions to Randall, star narrator of the honey badger video. Out in the wild, where animals are just battling all the time, being unaware can cost you your life. It's good they learned.

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DOG KICKS WOMAN IN THE FACE

Highly trained in several styles of the martial arts, this dog stone cold fucks this woman up in the face. Meanwhile, his cold-hearted companion cackles at the human's impending demise.

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DRUNK MONKEYS PLAN HUMANITY'S DEMISE

Turns out monkeys like to drink too. Sober monkeys are terrifyingly violent as it is. It's only a matter of time before this beach turns into a blood-soaked battlefield littered with the corpses of holiday makers.

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Panda maims Chinese student

Panda attacks man in Chinese zoo

The 20-year-old student had ignored warning signs and scaled a two-metre (6.5ft) barrier to get into the pen.
State media say the panda bit him on his arms and legs, and he had to be rescued by the animal's keepers.
Speaking from his hospital bed, the injured man said the panda had looked so cute he had just wanted to hug it.

People, how many times do we have to tell you? Animals are not cute or cuddly once they're big enough to maul you. Hippos will crush your bones, koalas will take your face off with their claws and pandas (being bears, after all) are just as inclined to kill you as you are to hug them. On the other hand, two meters is a pretty high fence, so this guy must have really wanted it. High five for following your dreams, Liu.

The article's winning sentence: "Keepers said [the panda] had recovered from the incident and was eating and playing as normal."

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